armadilloa16

Figured i would post my latest drafts of my poems on here, thought someone out there might be interested, i hope you find some wisdom in my HUMBLE words.

To be a halcyon*
To fight, to dance, to float…
To run, to leap,… to fly…
To live,
To be as a Halcyon,
Floating,
Flying,
Leaping!,
Over the oceans of causality…
At peace.

To be at peace is to find wa,
To find inner peace,
Inner peace is found through acceptance,
Acceptance of reality,
Of the reality of chaos,
To find calm,
In the chaos of reality,
And by finding calm,
To create calm,
Catalytic,
As a halcyon,
At peace.

To fight, to dance, to float…
To run, to leap,… to fly,
To live, to float,…
To accept
Lyron Winderbaum

*halcyon: A mythical bird that, according to ledgend, calms the stormy seas with the flap of its wings, and nests on a nest floating over the oceans.



Strength

Strength for the body is drawn from the mind.
Strength for the mind is drawn from the spirit.
Strength for the spirit...
Is drawn from you.

Lyron Winderbaum



Darkness

Darkness,
In its philosophical state,
Just as light,
Can be simply unnulled,
As a turned polarised pane,
Or a division of a common factor,
Once it is seen by knowledge,
It ceases to exist.

Now there is no Light or dark,
So then how is it that the one thing I am sure of,
Is that my eyes are finally open?
Lyron Winderbaum



The Muse,
The Tool-maker

Accused, I have been, of a muse, being.
But no muse, am I,
To be thought of as a tool-maker, I prefer,
Of thoughts, a carpenter,
Of minds, a smith,
Tools, I make, not inspiration,
Not by intention, at least,
With inspiration comes expectance,’
Expectance of more inspiration,
And that responsibility, do I deny,

But a weak tool-maker, am I,
For such responsibility’ too weak’ To be humble is all I wish,
Yet Godly responsibilities, thrust upon me have been,
Too weak?
Perhaps,
But choice is a misconception,
And there I go again.

Lyron Winderbaum

Well, i have decided that i dont like live journal, the set-out and design is just to hard to master, i mean sure i could, but i cant be bothered, and i like bebo, so i am switching to that, if anyone wants to read my blogs etc. from now on just go on there eh? or just comment, and ill invite to you bebo, np.

Well, i thought it was about time to update my lj again, lol... well, yesterday i finally got to see sophie, (for 5 hours, hehe, 3 of which was... anyway...) ;) so yeah, we went to see a movie, but then decided there where no good movies on, and proceeded to wander around mt barker, disappearing for some 3 hours, and then wandering the mall, where we saw a statistically (you should think) impossible number of people we knew, lol, most of which commented to me "so THIS is the sophie eh?" lol, so is' all good. Then we headed back to the farm, where i showed her around, introduced her to my parentals, then her parentals come over after to pick her up so i kidnapped them for watermelon and tea and what-not, so i got to know her parents, my parents got to know her, and her parents got to know me, all of which went off without a snag, as per usual (yes yes, i am amazing arent i?) lol, so yeah... that relationship couldnt be working better.

Yay... math test tomoz (i know, i remembered??!!!) wtf is going on??!! lol, well yeah, im bored of this already, cyaz all.

Cous cous and mayonaise... oh yeah! lol... i only weight 60kg... freaky, i need to weight 70 or i wil freak out and think i am anorextic (lol) hehe, so yeah, i think i am understanding krista's whole thing with the hyper-thyroid, lol.

well... i gained weight....and then lost it all at womad (understandable i suppose, it WAS womad, lol) so now back to trying to gain extra weight again... which i think will be tough considering i am gonna start riding down to mt barker and back about every second weekend, lol. ahh well...

Huh.. well... i lost my wallet on friday night... but hey... eating cous cous and mayonaise is so much more interesting than that, yeah, i know, i only realised what i was doing then when i was trying to think of something to say... yikes... meh, i think its the pure carbohydrates i need, cos i have been eating massive (along the lines of 5kg per day) amounts of food as per usual, but i have been losing weight (probably something to do with my starting to ride to school and back last thursday) but yeah, i can see my ribs again.. and thats not a good sign. so im trying to put on some more fat, cos i seriously need it, lol, not lacking for muscle though, probably why i dont weight like... 20kg, lol, considering how heavy muscle is, lol. ahhh well... hopefully when im done with my "anti-diet" (i am even consdiering eating fast food as an attempt to gain weight, but currently dont have to funds) so yeah, hopefully by tthe end of this i will have gained at least another 10kg. espesh cos considering i am riding now i am expecting to gain something like 2-3kg of pure leg-muscle, considering the proportions my legs where in the last period i rode and the proportions they are now, and that should bring me too a nbalancxe, cos currently its my leg muscles which are a bit behind they rest (lol, their lazy, lol) so yah.

Right.. wallet.. well, left it at hungry jacks (anti-diet) and realised it was missing an hour and a half later, came back, it was gone. so yah. luckly ID doesnt have your addy on it, so nobody could take my key and break in, but meh, so i got my new ID today ($20!!!!!!!!!!!!) and i have already cancelled my bank card and orders a new one (which wont arrive for 23 DAYS!!!!) and i bought new bus tikets, and i need to buy a new barr smith lib copy card, but i will just do that either next time i need it or next time i have money (i have.... $5 and change to last me until my bank card gets here) so yeah. (thats also the reason i dont have the fund to bring then anti-diet fight to the world of the fast food resteraunt) lol, so yah, i should go...

Well.. valantines... again.. again, no gf, no valantines, and i didnt even hook up with the chick i was itching to hook up with all night, well, i admit, i do feel sort of proud of my self-restraint, but... yah, damn. lol, ahh well... thats what valantines is about, lol... yeah, oh and marat? btw, i was just arguing with you for the sack of argument, in truth, i agree, its totally pointless, just as everything else is, nye, christman (religious, i know, but does that change anything?), b-days, anuversuries, easter, whatevr the hell yo uwant, all they are are escuses for paritess, and who needs excuses anyway? (i know, i know, now im agreeing with you, lol)

Hey! i think this is the longest any journal i have ever tried to keep has lasted... who knows maybe it will last longer... well, i just thought this would be a significant enough moment to note down.

I just broke up with kimi. yay. we're still great freinds and all and generally speaking it was quite a satisfactory break up. so yeah.

PS: Get in there marat! lol, jj, i know you said you weren't interested, lol, but who knows, a fall-back? from "katherine"? (oooooOOOoooo lol [singalong schoolkid tone]} lol.

Yay, today i met cameron (finally!!) lol, but kate kept giving me "go away so we can make out" vibes, so i left pretty quick, but he seemed pretty alright, if a bit of a bogan, lol, but i can live with that, the majority of my freinds are bogans, vandalists, stoners, hippies, nerds (oh sorry, geeks, not nerds, lol), goths, emo's, gansta's, even a couple of metro's, in fact the only social group i allow myself predjudice against is the group who think they are the "cool" people, they are just... pricks, every single one of them... but anywho, as you can see generaly i am free of social predjudice, and so i dont mind him being a bit of a bogan, although most likely its just a first impression and comletely incorrect, but meh, thats what i know for now, hopefully ill see more of him around, and get to know him better, lol, it seems like lately developing big-brother complex's is the latest thing for me, lol, and that kate (m, well, actually, while im on the topic, kate s. as well, lol) is my latest little sis, lol, hope she doesnt mind her adoption! lol, -.-

Well, up until yesterday, i just totally wasnt fussed about music, i simply didnt u nderstand what the big deal was for so many (only like... EVERYONE) people, and i was bored, and playing around with various p2p things, and trying to thik of things to download, so i remembered that Orr (my brother) said that i might like classical music, so i tried downloading some mozart, beethoven, bach, Hendel, and Tchaikovsky (sp?) and yeah, instantly discovered my love for music in classical music, i have to say that i prefered mozart to the rest, so i am now downloading his 25th 27th and 31st symphonies, and all 5 of his violin concerto's in all their many and various forms... yay... now i have to get an mp3 player... arg... lol, and i finally realise the irony of the final matrix playing "O Fortuna" (a mozart peice, for you inbeciles out there) in the final bits of the matrix, lol... hehehe, and suddenly the last matrix movie is now a comedy, lol.

Well, today i spent the entire day playing fable (ahh such a geek boy) and when i stopped i had a sit-down-and-chat with Orr (my brother for you people who dont pay attention) who then convinced me of the negative phychological side-affects of playing computer games, and so now i have decided to quit all computer games (yes, i am just waiting for your filthy comments marat, lol) well, i mean i finally quit caffiene in its many and various forms, now im quitting computer games (not that i would have had much time for them once school started anyway), i think next i will quit biting my nails... and so i come to the topic of this update.... Ahhh so many addictions, so little time.... although there is one particular addiction which has been causing me large amounts of pain lately, and which i dont intend to quit anytime soon either, on moral grouds, the addiction to love... awwww... lol, its a painful one, lol, and, conversly, the withdrawl is rather pleasent.... strange isnt it? that the "right" path (in the case of addictions) is always the more painful one... hey! thats a good quote! im gonna remember that! lol.

O-day was today... typical O-day, usless crap, although there where a duo of relatively good looking new girls who i made freinds with lets see if i can remember their names.... katie and... melinda? i think thats right, so yeah, yay. but we finally got out statements of results and diaries and final timetables (im in physcis with the gang, justin vince and kate, and i got chem with marat, yay! and i dunno, thats all i can remember)... my timetable is horrible, i have like a three hour free on monday, a four hour one on tues and a five hour one on thurs, yay. and every sigle day i start at either 8 or 9 in the morning, dammit. wlel, what can i do? karma i suppose. well, im kinda looking forward to school, although i am going to be cramming to get everything done before it starts (not a good start to the year, but meh, ill pul through).

So yeah. i wont mention names due to privacy, but my gf is head-over-heals in love with me and i like her but dont return the full extent of her feelings, i am still in love with my ex, and now it turns out she in in love with me too, except she is also in love with her current bf, who may or may not be in love with her. so yeah. yay. but it is building up my already insurmountable emotional defences, and "inner strength" some people call it. wa, would be a better way to explain it, but meh. its good for me, all these problems, put it that way. so yeah, school will be good, i will enjoy the routine, and.... the mindless learning of typically easy facts like "which direction does gravity go?" hehe, its so fun, dont we all love school so much?? hehe. well yeah, i should go now, considering nw i have sleptabout 10 hours out of the last 110 i should probably try and sleep a little... considering i am beggining to hallucianate... so BYE

I've tryed keeping so many journals in the past... never an internet one though... meh, i dunno, maybe i will stick to this one, simply cos i wil go on here to read kate and marat's one's and then that will rmeind me to write my own... who knows... it might work... its something to do while i am bored on the comps at school next week, lol.

well, this is the first moment of peace i have had since... the 7th of janurary... i got back from israel the day before yesterday, and yesterday was packed as well, i met marat and kate, and was going to catch up with saz as well, but she remembered she had drama reheasal. so she couldnt come, but its all still good, i loaded up kate ad marat with way too many presents, so now i have hardly anything left to give to anyone else, lol, oh well... but yeah.

then after we left (and i got a really really nice hug from kate, and a non-remarkable one from marat) i had to run to get to the pub, (grace emily) cos i had promised to be there 20min ago, then caught up with tom and alice and matt, and that gang. then we went back home, had dinner, and later that whole gang came over and we showed them photo's of the trip on Andy's projector... so yay. then i played fabel till 2am at which time i went to bed, and woke up something int he vicinity of 11:30am today. with a massive dehydration headache, which, after something like a litre of water, started to fade... then i make myself breakfast (yes i cook... hey! i should add that to my interests!!) of scrambled eggs with fresh basel and oregano and fetta cheese and.... damn that was good, so that improved my mood for the day, and then i cam eto the computer with the intention of playing fable, but marat was online and so i had ot chat with him about... various topics... (laugh and feel the victory marat, lol)

So yeah, that brings us to here, and i am about to go off and play fable, yay!